I like to think of myself as someone that’s always ready to go into the world, looking to experience a positive day. I like peace and happiness. Like so many others I want productivity and success. I want balance and fulfillment.
However as much as this may be the case, sometimes I find myself reacting to others and to events around me. The problem is that these reactions might not always be the best course of action, and as a result, they can make me unhappy, make things worse, make the situation worse.
So what makes it worse?
The truth is, we often react without thinking. It’s a knee jerk reaction, often based on fear and insecurities, and it’s not the most productive way to act. For example, when there’s a discussion being had with someone that ends in a disagreement or argument and you can tell that there getting really heated and using an emotional tactic on you, like gas lightening, manipulation, passive aggressive, or giving you the silent treatment, the last thing you want to do is get emotionally charged. Because what their trying to do is transfer some of that negative energy on to you.
When we react to peoples negative energy it lowers our vibrations. When we stoop to their level it’s like taking the bait and ending up in a tug of war. What you’re telling yourself is that you haven’t learned how to manage your emotions. Instead you can make a conscious choice not to engage with that negativity.
When someone brings negative energy your way here are 4 Important things to consider:
1. Identify your triggers
A key step in learning to recognize your triggers involves paying attention to when situations generate a strong emotional response. Beyond your surging emotions you might also experience: a pounding heart, upset stomach, shakiness and sweaty palms.
In this instance, you know what negativity looks and sounds like. So be present and aware of when it crosses your path. If you see it coming you have a chance to assess the situation before responding.
2. Breath before you do anything
If you find that you’re angry due to some frustrations that are going on in your life, you’re not only going to have to take a step back but you’re going to have to breathe through the drama. Learn not to waste your time and energy on people that may not be worth your time. Breathing is everything. In these moments learn to take a deep breath. When you start feeling impatient, stressed out, pissed off, take a few deep breaths at those moments.
You’ll find that it’s very hard for you to be equally as emotional and remain in the state of anger. Taking these deep breaths allows your mind to calm itself. And with a calm mind you become more focused. You get to attract the things that you want in life. You become a lot more productive because you get rid of a lot of noise that’s in there. You can never have anger or frustration if you just breathe. If you don’t want to manifest more stress then don’t get angry.
3. Live in the now
Say to yourself, in this moment now, there cannot be any problems. Problems can only exist in the past or in the future. If something happened yesterday and you got pissed off and you’re still talking about it the next day you’ve pulled yourself out of the present. And if your frustration is centered around something that might happen tomorrow or next week then you need to pull yourself back to the present.
You might be thinking, how do I get rid of all that stress and frustration? Live in the now. Because this moment now is the only moment that matters. Why? because this moment creates our past (our history) and our future. So stop living in the past because the past can’t change our future.
4. Focus on the positive.
If you keep talking about the problem it becomes bigger and bigger. Switch, when you feel negative just think of the positive. Get into the routine of instantly switching to the positive. Someone gives you a problem you say what’s the solution. Get into the solution mindset. If you think, why did that person say that to me? Think about some person that said something nice to you. Stop focusing on them, maybe those people are not worth your time.
Why are you giving them more of your time?
Give it to people that deserve your time, people who do love you, people who empower you. Put your focus and time into people like that so you can start attracting more positive people into your life.
Remember, we don’t have to react immediately, just because our feelings have been hurt. We can pause, not act but breath. We can watch this urge to act irrationally arise, then let it go away. Sometimes that takes a few seconds, other times it means we should remove ourselves calmly from the situation and let ourselves cool down before we respond.
Now consider your peace and happiness and what the most intelligent response might be to make the situation better.
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