I had a friend whose father was skilled at pushing his buttons. During his father’s blow ups he would smile to let him know that he wasn’t offended. His father would say things like, “You’re wasting your life. When the fuck are you going to get a real job, anyway? It was at that point that I realized that everyone has issues. It’s not always obvious if you have someone negative in your life. A negative person whether it be your friends are a family member is one that can be harmful to you. It can create distress to the degree that you feel inadequate and isolated. Some may often put these people on a pedestal.
You might start to think that everyone is better than you. That you can’t tell anyone anything about yourself because they’re going to judge you. You think that by telling people who you really are will only make you feel worse about yourself.
I found that when you learn to calm your mind down and sit back and look at things objectively, you’ll see how imperfect this world is, and that everyone that is judging you is no better than you, irrespective of their money or status in life. The only thing they’ve done better is hidden their failures and mistakes better than you have. That’s all they’ve done.
We live by the narrative of other people. Like the story of my friend, his father was a bad-tempered man, had been as long as I could remember, and had only grown angrier as he grew older and sicker. What did he expect? He was a negative person who ran from accountability and misrepresented reality to everyone willing to listen.
A lot of us know that negative people like to project how they feel on others.
What if you said what if?
What if, I can pull off the impossible?
What if, I could become someone that no one thinks I can be?
The fact of the matter is that there’s a lot of negative people walking on the planet who are Afraid To Try. People are very negative in this world because they are afraid to fail. For example, someone might say,
“I told you, man, you shouldn’t even want those things. You don’t have the resources or money. You should just stay in your lane and play it safe, like everyone else. Why are you so different?”
So all of that noise drives the defeatist mind. The mind wants to quit. The mind is tired. The mind thinks it can’t do it. The biggest problem is no longer yourself it’s the people that you’re allowing to take space in your head. They are manipulating every aspect of your life.
Periodically, you’ll find that the only way to combat this kind of problem is to constantly upgrade our versions of reality because it’s the only way we adapt. Don’t believe everything you’ve read or heard. One thing that I understand about life is that the people you choose to put yourself around and what you choose to listen to can become your downfall. People explore your weaknesses, and they love to own space in your head. One of the biggest ways to cut those strings is by walking on your own two feet. Building self-respect, self-esteem, and self-discipline can help deregulate your negative thought patterns.
You can start with finding out what you want out of life, what you love doing, and move towards it with purpose. Making up your mind and doing what you love is about taking that extra step when you feel like you can’t.
Half of the battle comes from convincing your mind that you can do it and that nothing is impossible.
There is always a way.
I realized that once you start talking to your mind the right way you can get past all the fears and insecurities. You’ll go from a person that thought that they were a loser, not successful, to a person who can do great things because now you’ve learned to control your mind.
When you get to the point when you don’t care about what people think, you’re un-stoppable. I’m not saying don’t care like I don’t care if I do something to hurt someone. No, I’m talking about not caring about how they view how you dress, where you came from, and where you want to go with your life.
With success in life comes more Haters.
Haters, critics, and naysayers see them as friends. Don’t let them hurt your feelings use them for fuel, use them for energy. In times of need bring them up in your mind, and when you start to doubt yourself remember all the things people said you couldn’t do; you’re not young enough, fast enough, talented enough. Whatever it may be use it for fuel, tell yourself, “I can’t wait to prove them wrong.” Instead of killing them with kindness torture them with success.
In life, you have to keep pushing against the odds. Take people’s negativity as a compliment and learn to push past it. Use everything this world has to give you, the bitter and the sweet for fuel. Don’t let people imprison your mind. You’re going to inspire envy and criticism, take it with a grain of salt, and stay the course.
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