Before the Pandemic, a thirtysomething publicist I’ll call Madison Riley walked into Cipriani, to meet me and some friends. As usual, we looked up to see who she was with. Madison was always dating someone new each week, and the game was to see if she would end up with any of them. Of course, it wasn’t too much of a game, because I knew that she would always find something wrong with the guy. Invariably, he would either be too young, not rich enough, smart enough, or just too boring. My friends and I looked at the good-looking man and then at Madison, who sat there with a bored look on her face as she reached for her cell phone. I knew then that she had found some flaw and it wasn’t worth trying to get to know the poor guy. Why should we, when he was going to be history in a week?
This was a real problem for my friend Madison. She was never emotionally ready and willing to work at a relationship because she spent most of her time sabotaging them. Fortunately, unlike my friend I’m a lot more open to love.
So after a year of isolation, if you have cold feet, and feeling a bit socially awkward about re-entering the dating scene here’s what I can tell you about finding love.
Live Life to the Fullest
If you decided that you’re emotionally ready, then I say, get out of your pandemic funk. Get a great outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks. And accept the fact that you’re going to be anxious but don’t overcomplicate things. Instead, keep things short and simple. Go to restaurants, flirt a little—laugh at their jokes, even if the person isn’t someone you’re going to fall in love with. Just enjoy the moment and don’t stress unnecessarily.
Narrowing Your Demands
Before you think about the things that you don’t want in a partner you need to think about what this person can offer you. This person may not be a banker, doesn’t share your interest in opera or rollerblading. But suppose this person really gets you and doesn’t judge. This person actually wants to see you during the day, because your company and personality appeal to him. Is that settling? I don’t think so. I think you’ve found a great relationship.
Where to meet a Guy?
Time is crucial, and it seems that the chaos of life makes each day go by faster. In addition, virtual meetings can leave so much to the imagination. I have heard of stories of accidental meetings—walking the dog, at a coffee shop, or social events filled with singles. So being out in the world and being emotionally available is good. But most people find online dating more convenient and efficient. Plus, it gives them a chance to meet people that they know are available and looking to date.
Change Your Energy
We attract people and experiences that match our predominant energy state. So if your energy is typically fulfilled, happy connected, and overflowing with love, then you’ll attract experiences that match that. But if you’re energy is a state of lacking, not getting enough, and not feeling fulfilled, then you attract experiences that match that. To change all that you’ll need to check in with yourself, see how you’re feeling, explore who you are, and simply cultivate love from within. Face it, no one’s going to love you if you don’t love yourself.
Learning to relax and be more confident is all in your body language. What if you could walk into a room and completely attract a man or woman’s attention simply in the way you walk, stand, and carry yourself?
You can learn to do this by having charisma, this doesn’t need to be something that you’re born with. Great charisma and radiant, magnetic energy is something you can learn. In fact, you can emulate other people who light up a room with their energy.
Oh, and on a sidenote, learn to drop your defenses and false beliefs so you can attract the person of your dreams!
How do you know it’s Right?
As we get older, we often know when something is right from the moment we see it. When you’ve found the one, you want everyone in your life to meet them, and get to know them, say’s most relationship experts. You are genuinely excited about the prospect of being with this person, and you’re no longer looking around to see what else is out there.
What about the Sex?
Physical intimacy—sex or sexual activity doesn’t always lead to emotional intimacy. To understand this concept you would have to know the true meaning of intimacy. Intimacy is an invisible link between people who desire to make a lasting connection. The connection you feel because of sex can sometimes be one-sided, but if two people create intimacy both parties have to be vulnerable, open, and committed to each other.
Check Your Baggage at the Door
As we get older, it’s much easier to become bitter: so many relationships have not worked out that you may start to think it’s never going to happen. But it’s important not to let this negative thinking get the best of you. If you think it’s never going to happen then it won’t—you have to be positive. When you meet someone new give them a fair chance.
Cheers to finding love, my friends!