There’s this stigma about being single that can make you feel like something is wrong with you if you’re still over a certain age and you haven’t settled down. Let’s face it, being single is not popularly valued. Everyone around you seems to be getting married and having children, so for someone who finds themselves single for long periods might wonder if that’s considered normal. Statistically speaking, no, but those are just numbers.
Spoiler alert: Being single is not the end of the world, despite popular belief.
In fact, being single has plenty of benefits, in terms of pursuing an interest, passions, and personal growth. Singlehood is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s something you should learn to enjoy and embrace.
Here are 7 reasons why:
1. It shows that you know how
to be self-sufficient.
It’s a known fact that single people are more likely to reap the benefits of solitude. Their uninhibited place offers them more opportunities to become self-sufficient. In other words, more capable of fulfilling their own needs. In a hookup culture, we tend to see ourselves as incomplete without a partner. Many people feel that they need another half to be whole. But many singles would argue against this way of thinking as completeness is to be found within.
You want to Eat, Pray, Love your way through a happy life, well having a partner is no sure way you’ll get there nor is it a requirement for happiness. If it were, then everyone in a relationship would be fulfilled, which is not the case. Also, all single people would be perpetually unhappy, which isn’t the case either.
No matter what you think, the willingness to accept that romance won’t provide you long-lasting happiness may save you from making some horrible mistakes in life.
2. It gives you time to learn about
how you want to be treated.
That doesn’t mean you have to go around thinking there is a Mr. Right out there (obviously there’s no such thing) but knowing what you want and not choosing a man out of desperation show’s that you want to be treated right and won’t settle for less than what you deserve. Some people might think that if you’re single, it means you can’t find someone. But in reality it’s smarter to wait for the right person.
Again, you’re not looking for Mr. Perfect but someone respectful and honest. If they are happy to see you, no matter what the two of you are doing, it might be love.
3. It gives you time to learn
Many people are unhappy being single because they feel inadequate or have issues with their self-worth. When you get into a relationship, you may find a sense of happiness in it, but it’s also like placing a bandage on a more deep-rooted problem. And we all know that being in a relationship does not solve your self-worth issues. They are still present and will probably manifest themselves in different ways in the future.
I maintain that it’s about better understanding your emotions so that you can make better decisions. The more you get to know yourself the less of a victim you will be. You won’t need to feel validated by others to feel good about yourself.
4. You learn quickly that
good men are hard to find.
Unfortunately, our culture has evolved in a way that has made finding a good man tough— and they certainly don’t make them like they used to. Hookup culture has taken over and it’s replaced dating and even relationships. And while it’s good to have options, it can be bad when there are too many options. At any given moment a man can sit down at a dating app and immediately have endless options of women to choose from. Because of that, it’s hard for men to give one woman a shot for more than a minute.
Nowadays, men don’t want to be with one woman only, if they have so many options. However, don’t settle because they might be hard to find. It’s not impossible. Not all men are the same.
5. You’ll date with purpose.
Dating without a purpose is like getting in your car and driving in random directions, hoping you will get “somewhere that makes you happy.” Chances are you will probably get lost, frustrated, or go in circles.
Dating with purpose is important if you want to find someone to sustain a relationship with. Try creating a dating plan and writing down all the things that are important to you in a partner such as trust, compatibility, teamwork, and physical intimacy, to name a few.
I find that being honest and verbal about what you’re looking for helps. I knew a woman that was married three times, when I asked her how she did it, she said that for each of her husbands she told them on the first date what she wanted out of a relationship, she said it helped weed out the men that weren’t in it for the long haul.
6. You won’t need to force
things to happen.
Forcing a relationship means that you feel like the relationship is taking a lot of effort; that your needs aren’t being met, and that the relationship feels stuck. When you’re forcing a relationship, things may feel like a constant struggle. More often than not, these are the type of relationships that may not last.
If you don’t feel the sparks, don’t just be with someone because of loneliness. Time is precious and you want someone special to share your life with. However, settling for someone who doesn’t fit your needs is not the solution. Don’t let getting lonely force you to be with someone that isn’t right for you.
7. You can focus on your passions.
Everyone needs some personal hobbies. Something to get that creative energy out. Mine happens to be writing which is a rather solitary activity. When you find your passion it’s like finding a missing piece of yourself. It is like relearning who you are and what you want from this chaotic world.
Here’s another truth: Instead of searching every corner of the earth for someone you can love, you should be searching for something you love. For your passions; for the reason why you were placed on this planet.
The simple truth is that relationships require a lot of time and work and if you’re not quite ready to balance between a partner, and your self-journey/freedom then I suggest you wait for the right time. When you’re single, you have the time to work on developing yourself (however long that may take) so build the foundation now, and then you can attract the right partner when the time is right.
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